• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave." The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked.Pet Parrot A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. I only came down to feed the alligator." Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?At the Salon I overheard the receptionist admit to another customer, "I haven't taken my vitamins today.I'm walking arounf unprotected." The customer commiserated with her, but then added, "I haven't taken my Prozac today—everyone's walking around unprotected." Oh, the pity of old age. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee." I said, "Well, then why are you crying?I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. He went over the conversation of the previous evening, but his mind was blank.This 60th anniversary of their class, the widower and the widow made a foursome with two other singles. He remembered asking the question but for the life of him he could not recall her response. And I meant it with all my heart." The widower was delighted. Then she continued, "And I am so glad you called because I couldn't remember who asked me!" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered, "Yes ... " The evening ended on a happy note for the widower. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? " The man replied, "That would be my wife." Grandma's Visit "Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades."Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us." The grandmother was curious. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.