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He is quickly reprimanded by a perky traffic guard: “You’re doing it wrong.”I don’t know much about being a mom, but I do have a lot of experience helping single women navigate the dating world.

As a dating coach who works with smart, savvy, professional women of all career backgrounds to create the type of love they desire in their lives (not to mention, someone who spent many years struggling to find my own way in the dating world), I have seen and heard it all when it comes to dating.

In practice, however, the views expressed by the male dating coaches MEL profiled inevitably tended to reinforce outdated and often problematic views on relationship dynamics and gender norms.

Take dating coach Evan Marc Katz’s notion that, “men look for sex and find love; women look for love and in the process find sex.” The 46-year-old dating coach, writer and podcast host markets his services as being “for smart, strong, successful women,” with the tagline “Understand men.

So, here’s my list of just a few of the ways that you’re doing it all wrong: There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being interviewed on a date or when you suspect your date is measuring you against some sort of future-spouse checklist instead of getting to know who you really are.

Be — or commit to becoming — the person who you want to date.

Furthermore, when you commit in this way, you’re less likely to compromise on any dating boundaries you set for yourself.

(Example: If a guy wants something casual and you’re looking for a relationship, you’ll have the courage to walk away.)Remember: You are the creator of your life; you build and shape your life story (including your love story) through the beliefs with which you choose to fill your head and the actions you take.

The journey of dating (or, as I like to call it, your entrepreneurial dating and love venture) requires you to confront your fears instead of running from them.

When you run from your fears, your heart and ego may initially feel safe and protected, but you’ll never get to where you want to go. Dating isn’t just about finding a hubby; it’s about discovering who you are, who you want to become and what type of man and relationship you’re looking to have.

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