Black women and jewish men dating
I think it’s good to be self-aware and educated on such matters … Recently, a friend sent me an podcast episode in which an Asian American woman interviews another Asian American woman who mostly dates white men.
When Asian men harassed her online for her “racist” dating habits, she felt badly about herself, so she decided to stop dating white men and intentionally date non-white men.
From the pit of my gut came complex feelings of irritation, fear, and ... I traced those feelings back to when I first arrived in the United States as a teenage immigrant.
I remember my Asian American friends warning me to watch out for boys with an “Asian fetish”—an ugly term for a non-Asian man who’s attracted to Asian females, presumably due to stereotypes.
The way they said it—always with a disgusted scowl—seemed to suggest anyone who dates too many Asians is creepy and abnormal, akin to perverts who watch kinky dwarf porn in a dank basement.
When that’s your introduction to your own community’s feelings about non-Asian males pursuing Asian females, it leaves a negative impression that’s hard to scrub off. I remember a Korean American friend asking me one day, “Do you think I’m a self-hating Korean? ” She hesitated, then replied, “I’ve never really dated Asian men.
at least, not until I started receiving comments whenever I mentioned that David’s previous girlfriend was also Korean American. Each time, I instinctively became defensive, and I would hasten to add, “Well, he’s dated white and Latina women too …” Even as I said that, I got annoyed at having to respond to such comments.
Have we really come down to this—marking racial check boxes in our romantic pursuits?
When it comes to Asian women, the myth is that they’re the “ideal” female: submissive, docile, and sexually eager to please.
These stereotypes absolutely exist, and they are harmful. Conversations about racial stereotypes might not pop up in certain social circles in America, but they do in mine.
When a Japanese American friend began dating online, she expressed skepticism about a white guy who wrote on his profile that he had lived in Japan and likes anime: “I’m just not sure that he’s just interested in me because he’s got an Asian fetish, you know? That’s why when I see articles that seem to address them, I click and read, because I want to understand why these thoughts exist.
The problem is, the more I was reading such articles, the more they confused and upset me.